Even when we did not know Him

When I contemplate life, eternity, theology and grace a pattern appears. I see how an all powerful God has intervened; nudging gently directing, even dramatically performing miracles in my life and the lives of others. The kindness of God is incomprehensible. When I look at the fabric of life it amazes me at the intricacies of the pattern, what a tapestry!

This writing is definitely positioned from my “Amateur point of view”. I am not a professional writer. I hope that I don’t ramble to the point of confusion.

I realized yesterday that I have spent most of my life trying to please my father. I just never could seem to catch his full attention and I was never able to perform quite up to his expectations. I learned this through a painful process. I had a meeting with a businessman who is a “father figure” to me. As I talked to him (trying to gain his approval) telling him of an endeavor that I am embarking on, he pulled out his sword and stabbed me right in the heart. It hurt.

Now after twenty two years of Christianity I am finally realizing that my heavenly Father is flawless, and that He is truly pleased with me. Imperfection can never measure up and be like Him, but our goal is to try, and to rely on Christ. As a son my desire is to express His love to you. I don’t know how to do that except from the first person. Please forgive me if anything that I say seems selfish of prideful. I know that God does not love me more than He loves you. I also know that I am not more important than you.  The only way that I can come close to expressing this unending love that I have experienced is from my own point of view.

Back to the story

Joani and I were in Pasco because her grandmother was ill. She was really sick and we all thought that she was going to die. At one point I went to the hospital and read her the 23^rd Psalm. Her room was on the end of a wing and an exit door was really close. I was really nuts; I had been engaged in some real heavy spiritualism for a long time. (I will tell more about that later) In my mind she was not supposed to die in that hospital room. I concocted a plan to take her out of there and to the high desert. I wanted her spirit to be free and not confined to this awful place. The next day I got my Indian blanket. I drove my Suburban to the hospital and parked by the exit door. I entered the hospital through the front door and made my way to her room. I walked in the room and was surprised to find a different woman. In the bed was a lady who must have weighed 300 pounds!

Dismayed I went to the nurses’ station.   I found out that they had moved her to the very center of the hospital! There was no way I could get her out from here. Talk about grace! I would probably still be in jail, as I was intent on doing the deed. I am sure the family would not have understood, much less the authorities.

Soon after Joani showed up grandmother Florence got better. I can’t explain it but it happened. Maybe her heart was longing for her estranged granddaughter and when we showed up she responded. Maybe it was all the Fathers work. I don’t know. But I do know that she suddenly got better.